I don't get it. Really, I don't. How is it that EVERY place we move. We have some kind of crazy neighbor. I know kids are kids and they just want to have fun..but seriously people just because I have 5 kids doesn't mean I want your kids ALL day too! I always thought that Iwould be the fun mom. The one that all the kids liked and all wanted to talk to. I know silly, but I really thought that's what I wanted. Boy was I wrong. I just want my kids to have nice friends that have good manners. That don't ring the doorbell 500 times and then sit on your doorstep when you tell them " they will come out and play when they are done with lunch." So they sit on your doorstep and SCREAM..waking Giselle up from her nap of 15 minutes and causing more gray hair to grow on my head. Why don't parents tell their kids..hey maybe they need a few minutes as they JUST got home and probably have to see what their mom needs. Or hey here's a simple one to teach your kids...when they come over to someone's house...PLEASE I beg you don't let them walk in and say...I'm hungry, can I have a snack? Really, you live across the street, you've been here 3 sec. AHHHHHHHH!!!
How do I set limits without being the bad guy? I'm not remotely perfect...sooo far from it but I do think I have pretty great kids. I'm not bias or anything. They have had their not so good moments... a certain child who will remain nameless..since they sometimes read my blog. I made my kids take the day off from the neighbor kids yesterday because I needed a day off..I haven't been feeling well and having 2 extra kids just didn't sound like fun to me..plus they are always coughing and telling me.." I'm sick".
OK, I am just sounding like an awful person now. Hopefully you don't think i'm a terrible person now but I just had to vent.
5 comments:
I had this problem this summer. Wild, rude, hurtful, crazy kids running through our house and yard too much.
When they came too early one morning and I hadn't even showered yet, I told them, "I'm sorry, but we're not even ready for the day. We need a while to be ready. I need to be ready and around when you play over here, because it gets a little wild and my kids are really getting hurt. When they tell you "no" and to stop hurting them so much, you aren't listening to them. Can you come back later and play nicer?"
I thought I was addressing a few problems in a nice enough way. The kids went home and told their moms, who didn't come and ask me but instead talked with each other and told the whole neighborhood I wasn't allowing my kids to play. Other neighbors eventually asked me what it was all about because they had heard the gossip.
Later that day when I was showered and ready for the wildness, I sent one of our kids down the street to say they could all come over and play. The mom answered one of the houses and said, "No. My child is too wild." Sheesh.
It eventually, slowly, worked out again and the kids came back over to play. They were a little more cautious and things were better.
Good luck, I don't know what to do about it. I've learned it's totally okay with some moms to send their kids out and never check on them again and not care where they go and how long. This is frustrating for the moms who get those kids all day every day and don't know what to do about it.
Sorry, that was long. :)
Hey, Lisa! You have made a great case! I can't give you any advice as I only have 2 kids and only one cares about friends, right now. But knowing how friendly your kids are and how cool you are, I could even see MYSELF becoming a little complacent about keeping up with my kids, especially if you never told me your concerns. One idea that I just had, would be to somehow set up some guidelines or limits that your kids and their friends are aware of. I know this could be kind of cooky but maybe you could come up with a creative way to send out a friendly memo to the families of the kids your kids play with explaining your "FOX HOUSE" playtimes and guidelines with certain "open hours" and "closed for lunch," and "closed on Tuesdays and Thursdays after school for family time," etc. Please "Bring Your Own Snack (BYOS)" might also be in that memo , too! Somehow you'll get the point across w/o being "uncool, I have no doubt!
What is the point in having a blog if you can't vent on it? I've had all those problems and more with neighbor kids. I have a general rule that no neighbor kids are allowed in our house, and my kids are not allowed in their houses. I do allow for exceptions like pouring rain. But I also never allow more than one neighbor kid inside at a time. Like, if I have one kid in here with my daughter, and a second one rings the doorbell and it's raining, I tell them they can play at their house, or later on.
I always thought I would be the fun carefree mom as well, just like our own mom's right, Lisa? But let's face reality, we both already have five kids with TONS going on all the time. The last thing we need is more kids everyday. I sometimes feel like it is all incredibly unfair when the other mother's (or babysitters or nanny's) have quiet time when their one child comes over for some free childcare. It really does drive me crazy as well. I just out right tell them no on my doorstep, and it is good that they know from the get go that they are not allowed in the house.
Maybe when they are teenagers I will be the cool hang out house, but not now when they are all little and crazy and need supervision.
My thoughts are talk to the mom and don't let the kids tell them. Rules need to be set but between parents. My cousin has kids come over and she doesn't even know where they live. crazy people. I have to say I don't have this problem but if I did I would talk to the mother and let things fall where they may. Then the know from the beginning where you stand. My mom was one of those cool moms but we played outside the whole time and it was a small town and everyone knew everyone. Good luck and I love your other posts. if you read this missing you tons.
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